girls sleeping on mother's shoulder

Not A Mistake

In Him also we have received an inheritance [a destiny—we were claimed by God as His own], having been predestined (chosen, appointed beforehand) according to the purpose of Him who works everything in agreement with the counsel and design of His will.

Ephesians 1:11

My mom was only 15 and my dad 17 when I was conceived. They were both in high school at the time. My mom grew up in a strict family in Durban, South Africa. My grandfather, who was a rich businessman, wanted nothing to do with me when he heard the news. As a result, my mom received nothing from him when he died years later. My dad’s parents had both died when he was only 9 years old. He had been raised by other members of his family and wasn’t as affluent. My dad left my mom when she told him she was pregnant. He had been told by his brother to deny that he was my father so that he would avoid paying the “damage price” for taking my mom’s virginity.

I was brought into the world on Monday, February 11th, 1991. While my parents continued to live their lives apart, I lived even further away with other members of my family in rural Kwazulu Natal. I spent the early years of my life with another mom. But God in His great compassion put a hedge of protection around me. I was known as Nokonwaba, meaning “Joy”. I was loved by the family that took me in. I never felt alone or unwanted. While I didn’t live with her until she finished school, my birth mother was always a part of my life to at least some extent. On the other hand, I didn’t have a father figure in my life at all. I didn’t even have any concept of what a father was. Little did I know that soon would change.

After completing high school, my dad had went on to pursue a Bachelor of Science Degree, majoring in Physics & Chemistry. He put himself through school and in the process, also achieved his Masters in Physics …and, found the Lord!

He got saved in February (the month of my birth) almost exactly 5 years after I had been born. At that point he sacrificed everything (including, 2 Fulbright Scholarships to Stanford University) in order to be a godly man of integrity. In obedience to the prompting of the Holy Spirit, He came back into our lives. He married my mom while also at the same time accepted me as his daughter. He even gave me a new name, Sindisiwe, which means “Redeemed” –representing both my redemption and his.

At first it was very strange for me when my dad came into my life. “Who was this man?” I thought. I went from not having any male figure in my life to having a full time father –who was also a disciplinarian. Needless to say, it was a hard adjustment for both of us. We never really got along in the beginning but praise be to God, today he is my best friend in the whole world. I am well behaved now and it would have been a different story if I never went through what I went through. He made sure I knew the difference between right and wrong.

When my parents married in 1999, they started our family with little to no money. We had our share of going hungry and selling items door to door. I remember a time when we even had to use cardboard boxes as furniture in our first little apartment. Today, it’s another story.

My mom also went on to get a degree in Bachelor of Science, majoring in Chemistry & Biochemistry. Both my parents were able to work hard and pursue business. Our little family of three grew to five. We have cars and houses and have never gone hungry ever since. This girl who was once “unwanted” has gone on to achieve everything she ever dreamed. I have been able to finish school, have a professional career, learn to dance and do as many different sports as I ever desired. I have also been able to travel the world and live in different countries including America where I am finishing up my 3rd year at BSSM in Redding, California.

A lot has happened in my life and it’s only because of Jesus. There is nothing and no-one I can ever give glory to besides Him. I can tell you right now that what the enemy meant for my family’s destruction, was in fact used to build us up. God is faithful and a true restorer.

To the child out there who was told you were unwanted, be assured that you are not a mistake. You are wanted and loved. You have a purpose, my friend. God has an amazing plan for you and will do anything to make it come to pass. You just need to trust Him. Remember that the bad things that happen to you, don’t have to define you. You are more than a conqueror in Christ Jesus.

And, to the surprised parents out there, I want you to know that you have a destiny too! You may have not expected your child but he/she is a gift from God (James 1:17) and He can turn any situation around for good. You are not defined by your mistakes.

You are not your own! You are loved by God! You have a bright hope and a future!

Sindisiwe Gxumisa is an accountant and ministry school student. She spent 5 years in the corporate world then left it all to pursue Jesus. She loves her family, traveling and is also a creative person who loves the arts. To learn more about Sindi and to keep up with her travels, follow her on Instagram: iam_sindz

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  1. I have ready ‘Superal Peace’, The Battle of Worthless,’ and ‘It is not a Mistake.’
    They are powerful and have helped me a lot. You know this is my 4th months I can’t go to work and can’t go to church ‘sick.’ when I raise some cash for medication other incidentals are on my neck. Pain is growing to the point of like giving upon myself. My wife has wrestled but it is too challenging for her to carry.
    However, these … have given me power to hold on. Thanks

    1. Nothing is impossible with God! Praying for you to be relieved from the pain you have been suffering! May Jesus Christ heal you! We are so grateful that these posts have blessed you! What God has done for others He is able to do for you as well!

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